


Fear like a habit

by roadsoftrial



Series: Promnis week 2018 [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, M/M, happy-ish ending, original timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-24
Updated: 2018-01-24
Packaged: 2019-03-08 19:13:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13464744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roadsoftrial/pseuds/roadsoftrial
Summary: Altissia is the crossroad to the rest of their lives.





	Fear like a habit

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day 3 of Promnis week! Prompt: First kiss  
> Sooooo I kind of interpreted this prompt veeeery liberally. And by that I mean I grabbed it and dragged it to hell… It still counts right? RIGHT?

Everything hurts.

Everything.

That’s all Ignis can think about as he lays in his hospital bed, while he waits for his body to heal, though he’s accepted it never truly will.

The left side of his face hurts the most, obviously. It’s like a constant sting, like something is picking at his skin every minute of every day. It’s unbearable and drives him mad every moment that he spends awake. It isn’t much better when he tries to sleep, but they have a drug they slowly drip through his veins for that. It numbs him down and lets him pass out until the next morning, so there’s that.

The curtains are drawn every second the sun is out, because the heat against his scar is unnecessary pain, and it’s not like he can see it anyway, so what does it matter, really?

Everything hurts, everything angers him.

The nurses tell him he has a visitor, always the same, and always he responds with _Not now_ ’s and _Maybe tomorrow’_ s.

He knows full well who the visitor is.

They haven’t talked since they got separated during the trial.

And he misses him, he really does. But he doesn’t want to talk to him when he’s feeling like this, because he won’t be good company, because he’ll inevitably get angry with Prompto one way or another, because he’ll intentionally misconstrue something Prompto will say to make him feel guilty that _he’_ s not hurt, that _he’_ s fine while Ignis is rotting away in darkness, confined in this hospital bed. Because that’s where he’s at right now: bitter and vengeful and furious, always so furious. Furious that he can’t make them understand that there isn’t actually a way to heal his wounds, that he made a deal, that he was willing to die, that the ring took everything from him, and then had the nerve to let him live.

He’d probably be better off dead, if he’s honest.

That’s where he’s at, right now.

He doesn’t want to talk to Prompto because he doesn’t want to have to say these things, harsh truths that will break him, that he’ll try to deny, true as they might seem to Ignis.

But Prompto is nothing if not persistent.

He sneaks in, one night. Slips into Ignis’ hospital bed, curls up next to him, his back facing him, and he pulls Ignis’ arm around him, sets his hand resting on the skin of his stomach under his shirt.

‘Prompto, you shouldn’t…’

‘Just… let me have this, Ignis. Please.’

And he lets him.

Partly because he doesn’t have the will to pick this fight, partly because, well, maybe he wants him here, reticent to talk to him as he might be.

Ignis thinks he’s fallen asleep, until Prompto finally speaks again.

‘You can talk to me, you know,’ he whispers. ‘I love you, Ignis, even when things get tough.’

He’s not quite sure how to respond.

_I can’t tell you anything that won’t hurt you in the process._

_I’m not sure you can handle me, right now._

_I love you, but I can’t love you properly for the time being._

He chooses to say nothing, which doesn’t go down too well.

‘You can’t shut me out, Ignis. I won’t let you.’

‘There’s no point, Prompto,’ he finally whispers. ‘This is a point of no return. Things won’t ever be the same.’

_Maybe you should leave now, before things get worse._

_Maybe I’m spoiling your only chance at a happy future._

‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean,’ he says, a little too loud, sitting up and facing Ignis.

‘Prompto, I—’

‘No, fuck off, Ignis. So what, things will change. Of course they will. You think I’ll stop loving you because of that?’

‘That’s hardly the point, Prompto,’ he says, raising his voice. There it is, that anger that’s been building up, the anger he never wanted Prompto to be the target of, as inevitable as it was.

‘I’m a burden, now,’ he continues. ‘You’re wasting your time. I love you, but you’re about to throw your life away, and you’re being very stupid.’

His voice is shaky and not as steady, not as convincing as he wants it to be, and Prompto picks up on it immediately.

‘You’re so full of shit,’ he cries out. ‘We’re in this together, Ignis, for fuck’s sake. What, you think I’m going to bail the second things get tough? Just, fuck off, alright? You should know me better by now.’

He does know him, of course. He knows how loyal Prompto can be, to a fault, sometimes, and that’s where Ignis’ issue lies, really.

Because why should Prompto be loyal to him? Why stay at his side when Ignis was willing to throw his life away at a moment’s notice?

‘You… deserve better, Prompto.’

‘Maybe I do, Ignis. But you can’t logic your way out of this, ok? Maybe it doesn’t make sense that I want to stay at your side, maybe you can’t justify it. But I want to do it anyway. I don’t care about your fucking logic.’

He goes quiet, breathing hard, turning his back against Ignis again, and Ignis hesitates for long seconds before slowly slipping his hand back on Prompto’s stomach. He hears a sigh at the touch, of relief, perhaps.

Maybe he’s right.

He loves Prompto, not because of what he can get from him, but because of who he is, plain and simple. He isn’t quite sure why Prompto would stop holding him to such standards, even when things get tough.

He gets out of his head in time to hear Prompto’s shuddering breath. He stuffs his head in the nape of his neck, presses a light kiss on his soft skin.

‘I’m sorry, Prompto.’

‘It’s alright.’

‘This isn’t going to be easy. I want you to understand that. _I_ am not going to be easy to handle.’

‘I know. I… I know.’

‘Prompto.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Turn around, please?’

He does, slowly, and Ignis doesn’t intend for his hand to end up on Prompto’s cheek, but it does. He feels a thin streak of tears on his fingers, and he leans forward to kiss his eyelids, because he’s done it often enough to do it with his eyes closed.

Prompto huffs, leans in a bit closer.

‘May I kiss you?’ Ignis asks, and he feels Prompto nod against him. He pulls Prompto’s chin forward softly towards his, and presses their lips together.

The kiss is long and warm and everything Ignis has been needing this whole time, and he can’t quite rationalize why he’s been denying himself for so long.

It’s the first kiss of the rest of their lives. And nothing will be the same from this point on. But if all the kisses to come are this sweet, this grounding, this comforting, well, suddenly, the future doesn’t look so grim.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos wildly appreciated!  
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://furimukuna-amuro.tumblr.com/) and [FFXV tumblr](https://thelegendarynoctgar.tumblr.com/)!


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